The thoughts of a 'Jesus Freak'.

God did not save me from the bottomless pit to live my life in superficial comfort and peace. He did not program me to be a 'people pleaser'. When the Lord changed me from the worst of sinners to a devout Saint- it did not happen over night and it was NOT easy. I had to fight tooth and nail, sweat and tears to finally break through all the sin I was in and the Lord gave me strength to do it. All I had to do was be obedient. 

There is more to being a child of God than believing in Him. You must come to terms with the fact that your life is NOT your own. When the Lord puts you on a mission you do it. Don't hesitate, don't reason... GO! You will face giants that you would rather walk away from. It will happen. But to stand on the principles of God means to walk it like you talk it- no matter how hard it gets and no matter how lonely the road.

 I understand that people have insecurities that hold them in bondage. Ok, well once you discover what your insecurities are then what? Do you cloth yourself in them daily and expect everyone to constantly cater to them? OR do you decide not to let those insecurities hold you in bondage and challenge yourself to face them? Sometimes people hurt you. That is a part of life. But you can not let what has happened in the past dictate your life. You must face your problems head on and not sweep them under the rug or carry them around for the world to see, and expect others to be sensitive to your personal insecurities by avoiding the problem & not helping you through it. Truth is- your friends should be there to help you fight through those thoughts that beat you down. Catering to negative thoughts are not going to make them go away and it is not gonna help you finally find freedom from it.

What is love?

In the Western world, when we say, “love,” we can mean many different things. I can love my cat, my husband, my music, my friend, my job, my country, or my car. But I don’t love my husband in the same way I do my car. See, things can really get mixed up! So, let me break it down for you the best way I can. I'll start with "eros" love aka "sexual love" or "passion"... In American culture, Eros is also romantic love & is the main reason people get married. It gets more interesting... over half of both American men & women maintain that not being in love (eros) is grounds for bailing out of marriage! Eros is a multifaceted mixture of anger, sexual urge, joy & jealousy. Strangely, in the Bible teaching about Christian love, eros is not mentioned in the NT Greek. Bible teaching about Christian love is different than the Greek notion of the highest form of love – or religion. For Christian love, the highest form is "agape". That’s next.

Actually, this NT word (agape) is opposite of eros, and is rarely used outside the NT. It means to highly value & unconditionally have at heart the genuine welfare and best interests of the object loved. It includes a rational commitment and motivation to maintain a relationship even in the face of problems. It directs kindness, respect and loyalty toward the object loved. Agape stands at the heart of what is commonly referred to in the Bible teaching about Christian love. The concept of this kind of experience was in Greek and Roman culture, but not the actual word, agape.

God expresses Christian love toward us (John 3:16; cf. Romans 5:5, 8), and Jesus explained this self-sacrificial love, “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:12, 13).

According to Jesus’ definition, agape can be expressed in patriotism, as in soldiers laying down their lives for their country. The Bible teaching about Christian love indicates it should form the foundation of believer’s relationships with one another (John 13:35). Agape love demonstrates our friendship with Jesus (John 15:14), and expresses our Christian love toward God (1 John 5:1-3).

But, there is more to Christian love than this.

In a nut shell- eros love is a conditional love. It is loving only when you get something in return or you feel like you are on the receiving end. Agape love is to love unconditionally without regard to self. Agape love is to give freely and is the same kinda love that the Lord shows us. Eros is a love that revolves around us. Agape is a love that revolves around HIM and is then expressed through us to others to benefit, not ourselves, but those being loved and the Lord- for His glory. I have experienced both kinds of love. I have given both kinds of love. But after really digging and learning the difference b/w the two... I would like to eliminate eros love. It is plastic.

Christian Livin'

A Christian lifestyle is a daily challenge, there will be times in your life that feel like you are climbing Mount Everest but rest assure with God there will always be a recovery time. Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.
1Corinthians 9:24-27 

A Christian lifestyle is a daily challenge, which is where the importance of Christian friends comes in, to keep you accountable, just like a running partner keeps you accountable to keep pushing forward. Christian friends who keep each other accountable are not only there to encourage, but to lift you up in prayer during the hills in your life when you feel like giving up. Even if you don't always run side by side through everything the important thing is that you pick each other up when we stumble and finish the race together, our heavenly home. Our world is full of temptations that can make it very easy to stumble and fall, we need to keep each other accountable and be an encouragement through example and prayer.

During your walk with God you may wonder why you put yourself through such a challenging lifestyle. Just think of it this way, right now you are on a difficult path that requires you to run up many hills when your are so exhausted, but there will always be a recovery time because God will not give us more than we can handle nor will He ever leave you when you're climbing those hills. So next time you feel like taking off your running shoes I encourage you to put on the armour of God (Ephesians 6: 13-17) and know that the biggest trophy of all is there for you when you finish the race, eternal life with God!

 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me-the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing.
2Timothy 4:7-8

Outgrowing your friends...

If you’re into personal growth, you will at some point outgrow some or all of your friends. The sooner you can accept it, the easier it’ll be.

Your friends may object and ask you why you’re abandoning them, but there’s not much you can do.

They create their own reality, and if they choose to create the feeling of abandonment, it is up to them. It’s not a lot of fun, but they will get over it.

It can get lonely while you’re transitioning from one group of friends to another. You’ll wish that you could go back to the way things were.

Everything seems so much easier when you selectively pick out memories from the past. You might even try to go back for a while, but it won’t feel quite right.

The longer you try to resist your growth, the harder it’ll be to hang on. You will start feeling more and more disconnected from your current group of friends and drawn in another direction.

It’s not that you’re suddenly better than your friends. Look at it more as if you’re at the train station, jumping on trains going to different destinations.

As you keep growing you will literally move into another wavelength, which is why your connection to your friends is fading.

There’s always going to be that sense of obligation, of staying true to your friends, but you also have to stay true to yourself. Sometimes you just have to move on. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet up with some of your old friends down the road. <3 

Do not take your life for granted....

Okay I have shared this story so many times & everytime I have to repeat it, I basically relive that night (which stinks) so I want to let everyone know w/o having to keep sharing so I can heal from it emotionally & I know people are only asking b/c they are concerned but, basically in a nutshell I was working at the Big D the other night & it was almost closing time. A younger guy came in the store wearing a grey cotton hoodie that had a pouch on the front of it. He had his right hand in that pocket & there was an object in the pouch cause you could clearly see the bulk there. I greeted him & the only response I got was a quick glance. The guy then began looking up & down all the rows in the store, in the bathroom, around my counter, & up at the ceiling as if he was checking for cameras. He never said a word. My instinct told me he was up to no good & my observations proved to me he was clearly scoping the place out. I grabbed the panic button & held it in my hand & I was going to push it but wanted to make sure I wasn't just freaking myself out. Then he walked to the back of the store (hand never leaving his pocket) & looked up at the reflector bubble on the wall to see if I was looking & I was. He turned and looked at me & then opened to Pepsi cooler door w/ his left hand & when he did the black bar on the cooler passed over the window & for a split second I thought he pulled out a gun. My heart almost beat out of my chest, I felt like I was going to pass out & started crying tears like crazy but I never made a sound & I just froze. A few seconds later I realized it was the bar from the cooler & not a gun. The guy did not grab a drink instead he turned and looked up at the camera above me & then at me. I wanted to push the button so bad but I could not do it for some reason. He stared at me for what seemed like forever & had no expression on his face. I did not know what to do I just froze up. He finally left the store w/o buying anything. As soon as he left I had an all out anxiety attack. I called my husband and he came to the store with a glock & sat with me the rest of the shift. I know for a fact that man wanted to rob the store or worse... And although he never spoke, I never seen the gun & nothing happened... I know that it is only because God showed me mercy and He made that man leave. I've never cried so hard or felt such a helpless feeling in my entire life. And working at that store I always imagined that I'd rebuke a robber in the name of Jesus or if a killer walked up on me that I'd look him in the eye and say "Death don't have no fear in me cause death don't have no hold on me, I signed up to die. May Jesus forgive you." Ya know? Like I actually envisioned a scene like that over & over in my mind but when I was actually faced with something terrifying I just froze up like a coward. Well, in the process of all this I separated a rib & I am in alot of pain when I take deep breaths, cough, sneeze or laugh too hard. Yet, I still have my life. I am alive to testify & continue to preach the gospel. And that experience made me want to grow in my faith to the point that NOTHING this evil world has to offer can break me down or scare me. I am asking for prayers though because I catch myself playing it over in my mind & beating myself up for not saying anything or for not pushing the button. I also keep remembering the total fear I felt & it scares me all over again. Ya know, life can be taken from us so quickly & I was ransomed that night- I believe it in my soul & contrary to what you may think, you don't have to see a gun to know it's presence. & to think, even for a split second that you are about to be murdered... words can't even describe it. We live in a dark world and never think you are invisible to the enemy. I am so grateful that God was there and stood up for me when I was too weak to stand up for myself. The verse He showed me today when I prayed for comfort.....Jeremiah 7:24-29 ♥ 24 “But my people would not listen to me. They kept doing whatever they wanted, following the stubborn desires of their evil hearts.They went backward instead of forward. From the day your ancestors left Egypt until now, I have continued to send my servants, the prophets—day in and day out. But my people have not listened to me or even tried to hear. They have been stubborn and sinful—even worse than their ancestors. Tell them all this, but do not expect them to listen. Shout out your warnings, but do not expect them to respond. Say to them, ‘This is the nation whose people will not obey the LORD their God and who refuse to be taught. Truth has vanished from among them; it is no longer heard on their lips. Shave your head in mourning, and weep alone on the mountains. For the LORD has rejected and forsaken this generation that has provoked his fury.’ (God gave me a message to share & w/o this experience I wouldn't understand how very important it is to equip His people with the Word & understanding. Or how desperately we NEED our Savior. You don't have to believe me. You don't have to take what I shared seriously, you can leave my FB page & move on to the next but you can not hide from the truth. You can not ignore our generation & the need for more disciples. It's time to stop being selfish brothers & sisters...We got work to do. Don't let the past repeat itself...Time to get ready for war. Good night.)