What is love?

In the Western world, when we say, “love,” we can mean many different things. I can love my cat, my husband, my music, my friend, my job, my country, or my car. But I don’t love my husband in the same way I do my car. See, things can really get mixed up! So, let me break it down for you the best way I can. I'll start with "eros" love aka "sexual love" or "passion"... In American culture, Eros is also romantic love & is the main reason people get married. It gets more interesting... over half of both American men & women maintain that not being in love (eros) is grounds for bailing out of marriage! Eros is a multifaceted mixture of anger, sexual urge, joy & jealousy. Strangely, in the Bible teaching about Christian love, eros is not mentioned in the NT Greek. Bible teaching about Christian love is different than the Greek notion of the highest form of love – or religion. For Christian love, the highest form is "agape". That’s next.

Actually, this NT word (agape) is opposite of eros, and is rarely used outside the NT. It means to highly value & unconditionally have at heart the genuine welfare and best interests of the object loved. It includes a rational commitment and motivation to maintain a relationship even in the face of problems. It directs kindness, respect and loyalty toward the object loved. Agape stands at the heart of what is commonly referred to in the Bible teaching about Christian love. The concept of this kind of experience was in Greek and Roman culture, but not the actual word, agape.

God expresses Christian love toward us (John 3:16; cf. Romans 5:5, 8), and Jesus explained this self-sacrificial love, “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:12, 13).

According to Jesus’ definition, agape can be expressed in patriotism, as in soldiers laying down their lives for their country. The Bible teaching about Christian love indicates it should form the foundation of believer’s relationships with one another (John 13:35). Agape love demonstrates our friendship with Jesus (John 15:14), and expresses our Christian love toward God (1 John 5:1-3).

But, there is more to Christian love than this.

In a nut shell- eros love is a conditional love. It is loving only when you get something in return or you feel like you are on the receiving end. Agape love is to love unconditionally without regard to self. Agape love is to give freely and is the same kinda love that the Lord shows us. Eros is a love that revolves around us. Agape is a love that revolves around HIM and is then expressed through us to others to benefit, not ourselves, but those being loved and the Lord- for His glory. I have experienced both kinds of love. I have given both kinds of love. But after really digging and learning the difference b/w the two... I would like to eliminate eros love. It is plastic.